Well, ladies there is a new book released How To Train Your Man and even a whole website devoted to this topic.
So, I wondered can the dream become a reality? Is it possible to train a man to do what I want? If so, would it accomplish what women need from their men?
I first read about about Man Training in Psychology Today magazine. The article I read suggested that the method was a complete failure and I have to agree.
A woman succeeds in training her man through the very same method as a pet: she verbalizes her needs followed by encouraging words, treats of love and repetitious proverbial pats on the head. Over time with positive reinforcement this man will, according to the theory, become subservient to his ‘owner’.
Why would any many agree to this arrangement? Well, Psychology Today explains that there is an immediate gratification for the male. He receives his positive reinforcment by giving up his control in choicemaking in order to recieve the love or sexual gratification from his woman. It’s an immediate gratification for purposes of human connection or even appeasement (avoiding conflict is often a huge factor). Much like a dog, he gets his pats and his treats and if he’s lucky, a hump and goes on his merry way.
However, the article states that eventually this man, unlike a puppy dog, will become very resentful. If both people in a relationship do not have the ability to express their full feelings, uninhibited, then little resentments will build. Over time, this man will become smaller and smaller in his ego and eventually hate the ‘owner’ for not allowing him the freedom to be who he is flaws and all.
The man is essentially changing for someone else without choice or thought as to whether he wants to accept those changes for himself. The silliest part of the training research is that over time the woman actually loses interest in the man because he is no longer a ‘True Man’ with thoughts and feelings of his own (which was the attraction in the first place) but now a shell of a man living up to the woman’s expectations.
I wondered if all of this was even possible at all. My man is not weak enough or silly enough to allow me to post ‘treats’ for change. It’s just insulting to men in general that this is even a ‘thing’.
So, I concluded after my dog er, man training research that its probably just bed to leave the pet training to those with fur and accept our men as they come. If changes are willed to happen it should be at the behest of the man himself and not at the demands of his “owner”. Although, I still do believe in offering a treat once in a while…